Poker Face: Fold or Bluff?

Retreat. When most people hear the word they think of it in military terms, as in soldiers being told to retreat because they need to run away before they lose their lives or become prisoners. Well today I feel like running away from the fight, because somehow continuing right now seems to only end in one of those options. This particular battle has gone on for way to long, and it has resulted in not only exhaustion but also disappointment. There comes a point in a situation when continuing to move forward and charge the enemy has no purpose; when the fight seems to be not worth winning in the end because after it all we can not enjoy it because we are too beaten up too. I think that in life we have to come to the realization that we aren’t going to win every battle, and we have to be ok with that. But does that mean that we should give up a battle just because it is hard? I don’t know. I haven’t figured that out yet. I do however know that sometimes when everything seems to cave in; retreating for a while to get your head back on straight and to recuperate is ok. But we all need a break once in a while especially when we feel like we need it the most. At those times seeking solitude seems to be a wonderful option, especially if the biggest problems you have are the people around you. Even if those people are the ones who you usually enjoy being around.

Packing up and leaving friends, boys, school, responsibilities, and family behind sounds perfect right now. I am sick of trying to put on my poker face for the world when on the inside I am screaming. I desire to be completely alone with God and to find comfort and rest in the strength that He offers. I am so thankful for a God who loves me no matter what and is always there when no one else seems to be. He is faithful and true.  I need to get away to focus on Him. I have never been this stressed in my life. Retreating is ok only if at some point you return to the battle ready to take it head on with full force. I mean take Jesus as an example there are several times that he went off alone to be with God and regain his focus and energy. I think that I will do the same. I haven’t quite figured out how yet but to the blog world this is my way of telling you I retreat for now.